Long Distance Relationships Suck...lol

Tonight is a really tough night. I'm not sure what triggered it but I'm currently sitting here crying and missing Cali like crazy. We had a couple of fabulous conversations today and I was feeling pretty upbeat. Monday is his birthday and he received his birthday gift in the mail today. He was THRILLED with everything I sent...yay!! He seemed to be a little down and said that he was sad cuz he was missing me and dreading the weekend. Ironically I was the one who was feeling pretty good and concentrating on the good things and what we do have not how much we're missing each other. That's usually his job, but it felt good to be able to support him for once instead of him holding me up emotionally. Until now. I was out driving tonight so that I could talk to him and he was worried since it's snowy and icy here. He asked me to text him as soon as I got home safely. I promised him I would. Well Mamacita is going through some stuff right now and I ended up on the phone with her as I pulled into the driveway. He ended up texting me to ask if I was ok before I could get off the phone with her and text him. I apologized for worrying him and explained the situation. He's aware of Mamacita's situation so I knew he'd understand. He didn't respond when I texted him so I texted him back a little while later and asked if he was upset with me for not letting him know I was home. He never responded. Now I wonder if he is/was upset. And of course it's the weekend and JD is home all day tomorrow so we won't have much if any time together to talk this weekend.

I found some photos he sent me back when we first started to talk and I printed them out and put them in my wallet. Sitting here looking at his face and wishing I was sitting here holding his face in my hands, it just hit me. It hurts so much and I miss him like nuts. He'll be here in 48 days...lol. It's really only a little over a month so I need to hold onto that. Why did I have to fall for a man who lives some 1700 miles away?? There are plenty of decent guys locally, no? I never do anything the easy way, that's for sure!

In much happier news, Cali did in fact book his flight last night. Wheee!! We have flight numbers and dates and times. He's booking the rental car soon and the hotel is taken care of. I am beyond excited and just want the date to be here. We are both just holding onto the fact that within a short time we'll finally be together. Yeah I'm missing him in a big big way tonight. I think I need to go to sleep and let this night be over with.

I'm heading to bed now that it's almost 3:30 am. Nighty Night.