Happy Hump...er...Wednesday

Happy Hump Day!! :) I really need to get off my butt and head to the gym but I'm being lazy. Eh I'll get there. So happy to be off work today. Dishes and laundry are piling up and I need to figure out what to make for dinner tonight. Ah such is my exciting life.

Been a couple good days. Cali called me on Monday afternoon when he was on his way into the office. We chatted for a bit and then he called me again on his way home AND he managed to get out of the house that evening so we got to talk when JD was gone for a bit. Nothing like a little *quality* time. hehe He was in such a sweet mood , talking about our trip and seeing each other next week, etc. It was a great conversation.

Yesterday I worked and he called me just as I was leaving the office to run some errands which was impeccable timing. He was in a silly mood and we spent much of our conversation giggling and joking around. I love how we can talk about anything and in many cases have a conversation like today where it's a light goofy silly conversation. We can laugh and joke and be silly as well as have a serious conversation about politics or abortion, etc. It's really neat.

I joined a new gym and signed up for personal training. I was joking around with Cali and commented that I hoped I would get a hot looking personal trainer...he said he hoped I did too. I was surprised that he said that but then he commented that he was hoping I'd get a hot trainer cuz then I'd want to make a good impression and work harder to achieve my goals. hehe Ironically, the trainer they assigned to me is the nicest looking one at the gym. Whooops. So now he's teasing me that when I tell him I need to go to the gym I'm going to see my trainer. He's such a goof.

Last night Cali ended up stuck at the office until late and called me when he was on his way home. He was in a really good mood and we talked about the hotel details and plans for next week. He is super busy with work and we needed to make some changes to the hotel details. I offered to make the call and he was appreciative that I offered and took me up on it. It felt kind of funny to be discussing *our* plans and him telling me to call to change the hotel stuff. I can't quite explain it, just made the "us" a little more defined. I know it sounds strange but it felt like we were a couple of sorts. In any case, we're set with the hotel(s), my flight is confirmed, he has to make the reservations for dinner on Thursday but otherwise we're ready. Now I need to pack...whee!! I have packed a million times in my head and I have much of my outfits already predetermined but a lot will depend on the the weather. If it warms up in California I may have to switch out a few things. I think I'm good to go. YES!!!

I can't believe that a week from right now I'll be in California in Cali's arm. It's a bit surreal to me. I realize that to some, 5-6 months isn't a long time but since we've talked daily since October it seems like a lot longer. *I* feel like it's a long time coming, we've been planning for this for so long. I know that next week I am going to be beyond terrified once I get on that airplane. I've got plenty of diversions to keep me occupied on the flight (I hope) but I don't know if I'll be able to concentrate on any of it. We both agreed that we're going to be so nervous until we finally see each other and are in each other's arms. After that first couple of seconds I think we'll be ok. It's so nervewracking!! Last night I was sitting there and it hit me. I'm leaving my son for 3 days and heading 1800 miles across country. OMG. That scares the life out of me. I have never been away from Bug for more than 2 days and even then I was only an hour or so away. I am so worried about losing it when I leave him at the airport. I know that I need this time away to recharge and to see what happens with Cali but I'm going to miss my Bug. :*( I'm having a tough time separating the momma part of me from the adult/woman who has desires and needs part of me. Does every other woman struggle with this?? Up until now I've never had to separate them or more to the fact that I think I've just let go of the adult/woman side of me and allow the momma side of me to control everything. Which is ok but now I feel this need to encourage and nurture that other side. How do you balance it all? I love my little Bug more than anything and feel this intense amount of guilt pursuing something that makes me happy but cannot be shared with him (obviously!!). I've already decided that the Saturday I return we're going out on a *date*. He loves that. We go out to breakfast or lunch wherever he wants and maybe I'll take him to see a kiddie movie or to that evil Chuck E Cheese. ::shudder:: Yeah I love him that much, lol.

Alrighty, time to throw in a load of laundry and maybe try to get my butt to the gym before Cali calls. More later, maybe.