Wee bit of awkwardness
I didn't have a chance to post this since I landed my butt in the hospital on Mother's Day. For Mother's Day, Bug made me an adorable necklace and gave me an awesome birthday card as well as a charger for my iPod. JD gave me a card and inside the card were two tickets to a concert that I had casually mentioned to him. When I saw the two tickets, I made a sarcastic comment that I had two tickets and would have to find a *date*. His response was, "Well you can take whoever you'd like...I'd be happy to go if you want unless you want to take someone else." ::insert awkward silence at this point:: I mean we're in the midst of a separation and this concert isn't for another month and a half. By then we should be physically separated....and I don't know that I'd really like to go with him to this concert, besides he only listens to this artist when *I* have it on...not one of his favorites. Anyway, fast forward to earlier this week, he mentioned the concert and then said that the concert is on a weekday and earlier than originally announced so he'd have to make sure he doesn't take any overtime at work that day so that we can get to the concert on time..... Uhhh ok I thought I can take whoever I like? Does this mean I have to take him? Truth be told I don't necessarily have anyone else I'd prefer to take, very few of my friends are as into music as I am....BUT I don't know that I want to spend the evening with him. I just feel like he's put me into an awkward place. He says that I can take whoever I want BUT I know him and he wants me to take him. If I don't ask him to go he's going to be angry/upset. I just wish he wouldn't have purchased the damned tickets now. Grrrrrrr
That's all I got...
That's all I got...
4 comments:
I feel for you. I really do. Sounds like perhaps he is in a wee bit of denial about the situation. W does the same things to me, acts like everything is status quo. Unfortunately, I almost always give in to it, thus explains my cage into which I've allowed myself to be trapped.
EEk.....this is going to sound pretty damn mean of me...but I have to say it. Yes, you are unofficially separated...but would it kill you to go to the concert with him?? My thought is this.....either go with him (he WAS, after all, thoughtful enough to purchase tickets you only "casually" mentioned) or give the tickets away. I think it would be a HUGE slap in the face for you to take someone else...even though he says that's ok. I'm sorry, Drama.....just my 2 cents...which are worth nothing anyway! Good luck.
Chelle - Nope, wouldn't kill me to go with him. It's really the passive aggressive way he has posed the entire situation. We're not getting along, we can't even manage to stay in the same room without practically killing each other. This entire situation is a test...he does this regularly. He won't come out and say, "I thought it'd be nice for us to go together." Instead he tosses out the comment that I can take someone else if I want...knowing full well that that's the LAST thing he wants. He'll end up attacking me if I don't take him because I didn't do what he wanted me to...though he won't come out and tell me that. We had a huge blowout at Thanksgiving over me going to see my family after HE told me to go. Because he wanted me to choose him over my entire extended family and when I didn't he was pissed off. I've learned that this is a big old test from him...to get me to *prove* that I care about him, blah blah. Maybe it sounds cruel and heartless but I'm so sick of the games and the way he tests me. I know what he's doing and why...
The whole separation situation came up weeks ago and he did some minor footwork to find housing at least temporarily and then stopped. He does this on EVERYTHING. He'll begin the process just enough to appease me, or at least he thinks so...then he blows it off. He hopes that I'll change my mind or forget what's happening. It's his normal pattern in all matters...much of the reason we are where we are in our marriage.
Drama
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