Feeling a little better...
As I mentioned in response to the comments on my Wiped Out post, things with Cali are better. We talked twice today, in fact he called me fairly early this morning on his way into work. We had a chance to talk things out a bit. There is still more that I want/need to say but the timing wasn't good today. He's been really busy with work and what I want to discuss isn't *that* critical. I want to sit down and figure out the right words...he's supposed to be here in 3 weeks so I think I'll wait and talk to him when we're together. It'll be easier when I can hold his hand and look him in the eyes as we talk.
In the meantime we are good. I am again amazed at the tremendous level of understanding and patience that he possesses. I don't know that *I* would have been that understanding of myself!! I now know why he was unreachable yesterday and I feel like such an idiot for freaking out. It didn't matter to him and he didn't even think twice about the multitude of text and voice mails I left. He simply laughed about them when we talked. That's my Cali....
Our second conversation was this evening on his way home. We talked for about 40 minutes and it was so nice. To reconnect and laugh and joke around. He was in such a better frame of mind as was I. We talked about his upcoming trip here for my birthday. I.CANNOT.WAIT!! I just hope that we're able to swing the 4 days together. With his business taking off so much right now it's going to be a trick to get the time freed up completely. He's supposed to look into flights this weekend and hopefully book something. I told him that the only gift I want for my birthday is him....he doesn't have to buy me a gift...just be here to spend a couple days with me. That's all I want. He said that was the easiest gift ever requested of him. I hope that means that it's what I'll be getting. hehe
I want to thank everyone for their emails and comments over the last two days....you have no idea how much it all meant to me. It really helps to know that I'm not alone and that others *get* how I'm feeling. Even though he doesn't read, I also want to thank Cali for putting up with me even when I don't think I'm worth putting up with!!
In the meantime we are good. I am again amazed at the tremendous level of understanding and patience that he possesses. I don't know that *I* would have been that understanding of myself!! I now know why he was unreachable yesterday and I feel like such an idiot for freaking out. It didn't matter to him and he didn't even think twice about the multitude of text and voice mails I left. He simply laughed about them when we talked. That's my Cali....
Our second conversation was this evening on his way home. We talked for about 40 minutes and it was so nice. To reconnect and laugh and joke around. He was in such a better frame of mind as was I. We talked about his upcoming trip here for my birthday. I.CANNOT.WAIT!! I just hope that we're able to swing the 4 days together. With his business taking off so much right now it's going to be a trick to get the time freed up completely. He's supposed to look into flights this weekend and hopefully book something. I told him that the only gift I want for my birthday is him....he doesn't have to buy me a gift...just be here to spend a couple days with me. That's all I want. He said that was the easiest gift ever requested of him. I hope that means that it's what I'll be getting. hehe
I want to thank everyone for their emails and comments over the last two days....you have no idea how much it all meant to me. It really helps to know that I'm not alone and that others *get* how I'm feeling. Even though he doesn't read, I also want to thank Cali for putting up with me even when I don't think I'm worth putting up with!!
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