Disappointed

I was supposed to meet JM for breakfast and then come back here to spend some time together but he has to pick up his boys at noon so it won't work. I was really looking forward to seeing him today. He still said he may be able to swing a bit of time out of the house this afternoon, he has to do some shopping so he was thinking of coming up my way and we could go together to do the shopping. Just needs to make sure the boys are taken care of. I have my fingers crossed. Next weekend he's going away with the boys and his brother's family so we won't see each other at all. I'll miss him but it'll be fine. We need time away from each other...he needs a chance to hang with his boys and his family and just be together. This is a very different type of relationship for me...in many ways I feel like it's more mature and reasonable. I want him to go off on his own and have fun...I want him to spend time with his brother drinking and being a boy...I want him to spend lots of time with his kids. In my previous life I would have been jealous and insecure that he (or whoever I was with) was spending time away from me and feeling as if he preferred all those options over me. Now I realize that we both need time away from each other to appreciate the time we're together that much more. Wow, does that mean I'm growing up? LOL Seriously, we did the inseparable, talking constantly, spending every waking moment together or online together or on the phone together and look where it got us. We were both losing a grip on our family life, feeling stress and overwhelmed, and he freaked out. This time is different and hopefully will remain that way. I don't know what the future holds...I don't know if we're meant to be together for the long haul...I'm not thinking that far in advance. I'm just enjoying the here and now and the way we fit together effortlessly. I do know how I feel when I'm with him, how my heart melts when he looks at me with those brown eyes, how I feel wrapped up in those big arms of his, how tiny and petite and protected I feel when I'm in his presence...mmmmm. Yeah it's a good thing for sure. Whew I think I need a cold shower. ::grin::

So I think I'll grab a quick breakfast and then head to the gym. Hopefully when I return he'll be on his way over and we can spend a bit of time together. If not I have plenty of house stuff to deal with and a big pile of mail and papers that I need to sort through. It's slowly taking over my dining room and if I don't get a handle on it soon you'll be hearing a news story about a woman who was buried alive amidst the never ending, always growing pile of paperwork in her home. heehee

I'm out of here...I'll update more later. Lots to discuss on the divorce front among other areas. Bye for now.