Keeping the Momentum....

That's all I'm doing right now. Just keeping the momentum cuz if I stop for a second I feel like I'll fall into a big ass hole. So I keep moving and doing and living and hoping that somewhere someway, something good is going to come of this.

No contact from JM since *I* emailed him yesterday. I realize it's only one day but I've decided that I won't be the one to email or contact him next. It's his turn and if he opts to hide/disappear/stop it's HIS CHOICE and I will accept it. I have come to the conclusion (at least for the next 5 minutes or until my will wears out) that I deserve better and I deserve someone who is willing/able to make that effort to talk to me, see me, keep in contact with me. He can text me....he can email me....not looking for a grand gesture...just some contact. Too much to ask? I don't think so. We'll see how strong I can be and if I stand by my words...wish me luck.

On a happy note, the boy I mentioned yesterday who was going to make me dinner on Sunday called tonight. He actually explained that he's been on some medication for his asthma which has really messed with his moods. He's stopped taking it but still feeling some of the effects of it and that is why he didn't want to go out on Sunday. He wasn't feeling terribly social and he was afraid I wouldn't have a nice time if he was crabby/moody. It all makes sense now and I appreciate that he decided to tell me. We talked for almost 25 minutes, had a nice enjoyable conversation with a little laughter. He said he would call me tomorrow and even asked me if I was free this weekend to see each other. YAY...so that was a bright spot in my evening.

I've been in contact with a couple different guys that I've met recently. One lives within minutes of me, he does work for the military and travels a good bit. We've had a number of extended phone conversations and seem to really get along well. He won't be back in town for any length of time until early November so we're working on planning a time to see each other once he's back home. I'm really looking forward to seeing if there's more there between us...he's such a great guy and we really seem to hit it off.

Cali has been in touch recently. He called me yesterday to tell me that he got a new phone number. He also called today and we talked for a bit. Before we hung up today he said he was going to be on the road tomorrow and wanted to call me if it was ok. He also said that he's changing his email address and would send me the new address once it's set up. Kind of strange how he's all of the sudden making this effort, he did say that he's having some issues with his kids again and I have a feeling he just needs some support right now. Who knows. One of these days we will completely and totally break from each other...I just don't know when.

So many boys, so little time. HA!!

I'm feeling better today than I have in a while, despite the ridiculously expensive cost of my car repairs, despite JD being the king of all jackasses, despite being so broke that I can't even pay attention....life is good. I baked brownies, double chocolate chunk cookies, and tomorrow I hope to make some chocolate chip banana bread (Bug's favorite!!). With the weather cooling off I am now in the mood to bake..I just wish I was in the mood to clean. This hell hole of a house really needs to be ripped apart and scrubbed from top to bottom.

Ok it's bedtime, sweet dreams drama queens!