Stranded

Yep that's me. I'm sitting here in the airport waiting to fly home from seeing my dad this weekend. Plane is now delayed 2.5 hours. Oh joy!! I managed to get here early enough to allow almost 2 hours for nothing which means I have to sit here for 4.5 hours. WHEEE!!

Dad isn't doing well. I haven't had any time to post an update. He started to get much better, stronger, was beginning to sit up, stand, talk, etc. Then this week he started to have heart problems...then Friday evening I get a text from my brother that he spiked a fever of 107. Holy cow...talk about scaring the hell out of someone. They managed to get his temp regulated within a couple hours but we're talking about an 80 yr old fairly ill man dealing with such a high temp. Naturally neurological complications crossed all of our minds right away. My flight left Saturday morning early and arrived in FL without incident. Saturday was Dad's 80th birthday so my brother, two nieces, and I all made the trip so that we could be with him on his birthday. Unfortunately we're not 100% sure he even knew we were there. He was in out and out sleep all weekend. Some times his eyes looked like he got what we were saying but other times we really felt like he had no clue who we were much less what we were saying. They did a blood culture to find out the cause of the infection/fever. That will take another 2 days to get those results so they're giving him one size fits all antibiotics in the meantime. His temp was back up to 102 today but it never went any higher. Met with his doctor this morning to discuss the prognosis. They are actually encouraged by the amount of awareness he has and his response to them. Only time and the blood culture will tell how he's going to do at this point. It was so difficult to see my once strong, very "hard hearted" daddy lying there, skinny, pale, and a shell of the man he was. It's so sad and scary and unsettling. We all alternated between laughing and sharing funny stories about him and his antics over the years and crying in sadness over what he's enduring and our feelings of helplessness. It just sucks.

The soldier is still around. This week was a bit disjointed as he's had his kids a bit more than usual, due to various circumstances. We managed and did have a nice conversation thsi afternoon when I was on my way to the airport...almost felt like old times.

In other boy news, as I mentioned in a comment response to Serenity, the ex cop turned all nutty on me and disappeared. I made a joking comment towards a friend of mine...a sort of inside joke. He took offense to it as I guess he took it personally...although I never quite got an answer from him as he just told me that my comment made him realize that we had nothing more to say to each other. LOL Ok buddy, whatever. Can't take my sense of humor I don't really need you in my life.

Some other developments that I'm hesitant to post about but I will anyway. **ATTENTION - MATT STOP READING!!!**

JM has resurfaced. We had exchanged Thanksgiving pleasantries a few times and then he sent me a text message one night telling me that he regretted everything he's done to me and he finally admitted that he does love me. He knew I was going to see my dad this weekend and asked if he could pick me up at the airport tonight and then asked if he could take me to dinner so that we could talk about the situation. I agreed. I was brutally honest with him and made sure he knew exactly how I felt and what my expectations were. He's been nothing but insistent that he's prepared to do what it takes to make this work. I told him that I can't trust him because of past history and he continues to tell me that he understands that and he promises me that he's going to do everything possible to be honest with his feelings and make this work. I told him that I can't guarantee that I'll be able to remain understanding, etc. No promises and no guarantees on my part. He's ok with that. He said that it's his turn to do the work and his turn to make all the effort. I agreed. I ended up stuck for a ride to the airport on Saturday morning so he ended up agreeing to take me to the airport as well. I had to be there at a ridiculously early hour and he had to entertain some out of town clients on Friday night. So he went out with the clients and then drove out to my place and spent the night. NOTHING HAPPENED...well we exchanged a handful of kisses and we did cuddle but that was it. Not once throughout the night did he let go of me. Over and over he kept saying that he was so stupid to let *this* go and that he promised it would never happen again. I don't know if he can do that nor do I know that I'm going to give him the opportunity to try...we have a LOT of talking to do first. He agrees wholeheartedly that we have a lot to cover. So he drove me to the airport, hugged and kissed me goodbye and told me to call him today once I got to the airport in FL for my departing flight. He had his company holiday party last night so I knew he'd be out late. I called and texted him this afternoon but he didn't answer right away. He called me shortly thereafter to tell me that he had been up until early (late??) this morning and was feeling very sick from all the fun and merriment. He told me that he wasn't going to be able to pick me up at the airport because he felt so sick. My heart sunk. Then he said, "But write down this phone number.....I hired a limo to come get you and take you home." ::THUD:: I told him that it wasn't necessary, that I could find someone else to pick me up. He insisted that he felt absolutely horrible that he wasn't coming to get me and he figured if he couldn't make the trip, he wanted me to get home safely without having to search for another ride. He told me that he requested a bottle of my favorite wine in the limo so that I can have a glass on the way home and relax. ::grin:: Told me that he'd taken care of the cost and tip so he didn't want me to put out any money. He apologized over and over and kept telling me how bad he felt. I'm ok with it...I think it was really sweet of him to think ahead and instead of leaving me stuck without transportation making sure I was taken care of. He told me that we'll figure out a way to connect this week so that we can talk about *us*. I'm not 100% sure that we'll start up again...I'm willing to hear him out though. I have some very strong feelings for him, always have and I guess that's a big part of the reason I'm willing to listen.

*OK MATT YOU CAN START READING AGAIN!!** heehee