'Tis the season...and all that other crap..
I know it's been a while since I updated, I've been really busy and when I do get a few minutes to relax, I'm sorry to say that blogging isn't at the forefront of my mind. Let me rephrase that, I think about blogging all the time and make mental notes of what I want/need to blog about but I never manage to make it here to blog about any of it. In any case, I am here now. So much has happened since my last entry.
JD and I have been going back and forth about the expenses of the house. The fact of the matter is he is NOT paying any child support but expects me to pay the household expenses for a home that WE BOTH own. After consulting an attorney and informing him of the laws regarding that he still didn't believe me. Finally we began mediation and the mediator had a one on one meeting with him. He called me after that meeting and told me that he will be putting through a direct deposit request to have the child support payments put into my account each pay period. Evidently *I* don't have any clue what I'm talking about but the mediator does. Eh whatever, as long as he starts paying it I don't really care. We are proceeding towards divorce, I am working to establish boundaries with him which he ignores on a daily basis, and I'm looking forward to being on my own completely.
My dad is doing much better! Got a call from the stepmonster today that they removed the vent from my dad and they are working on getting him to talk. YAY!! I am going down to see him again next weekend for his 80th birthday and it'll be so nice to see him without that darned ventilator attached. I'm so happy and excited about it. It's going to be a short trip...just overnight but it's all I could afford as I don't have any more vacation time. I'll be there for most of his birthday and part of the next day which is all that I cared about.
Bug and I have both been sick since the middle of last week. My voice just came back today...but Bug is losing his now. I hate being sick but even more I hate seeing my little guy sick. ::sigh::
The soldier is still around, we are seeing each other but neither have made a declaration of exclusivity. He made a comment today to the effect that he hasn't put a ring on my finger so I'm free to do whatever I want but that he wanted to remind me that he doesn't share. LOL I can really see this relationship being something healthy and real for us both. We talk through issues and really deal with problems instead of arguing or letting them fester. The part that scares me is that I'm concerned that I am merely a rebound relationship considering he's just coming off of a separation/divorce from a cheating spouse. It does worry me and we have actually talked about it...but I really can't do much about it except hope it doesn't happen.
The cop is gone. He didn't call or have any contact for about 4-5 days. I finally called him and asked what the hell happened. He told me that he didn't know...that he evidently had second thoughts about pursuing a relationship after our FIRST DATE....but he continued to pursue me and text and call me on a daily basis...what the hell is that?!?!?!?! I'm so tired of confused, misguided, unsure little boys. He was very apologetic and he's tried to make amends I suppose by being friendly but it's not fixing it.
There is a new boy on the horizon, lol. He's an ex-cop...lol. Not your usual male, he has some very different thoughts and beliefs about life and relationship, all very cool stuff. We have been talking for weeks and trying to make plans to go out. We finally did tonight. What a mess!!! I was immediately attracted to him and struck by how much cuter he was than in his photos.... We had dinner and then he walked me to my car. No kiss, no hug, no hand holding, nothing...just a thanks for the evening, good luck. I was a bit confused and disappointed because I thought we had been having a great time. I pulled out of the restaurant very confused and frustrated. Thankfully I managed to send him a text message just thanking him for dinner. In the exchange of a half dozen text messages it finally came to light that we BOTH were attracted to each other but thought the other wasn't interested...lol Talk about miscommunication and misunderstanding!! So we talked tonight on the phone, hashed out what lead us both to the thoughts/opinions we had and then agreed to put all the confusion in the past. I told him that I'd definitely like to see him again and he agreed. So we're planning to go out in two weeks since I"ll be out of town next weekend. It just made it glaringly obvious how bad I am at reading other people's responses and actions. I was WAY off base...but he was as well.
JM and I exchanged a few emails before the holiday weekend. He actually had the audacity to tell me that while he knows I deserve better than he can give, he hopes that I'll be happy and wondered if I'd consider becoming FWBs with him!!!!!!!!! After the relationship we had he thinks I can simply put my feelings aside on a shelf and jump into it sexually? I simply laughed at him...I was positively shocked that he'd even consider something like that much less vocalize his desire. By the way Matt I did take his phone number out of my cell phone.
Speaking of numbers on my cell phone...I did remove Cali's number from my phone memory. I used to have his cell phone number memorized but he recently got a new phone and I never memorized that one...good thing!!
In any case, life is going along slowly but surely. I am heading to bed...I'm exhausted and really need some sleep.
Nite all.
JD and I have been going back and forth about the expenses of the house. The fact of the matter is he is NOT paying any child support but expects me to pay the household expenses for a home that WE BOTH own. After consulting an attorney and informing him of the laws regarding that he still didn't believe me. Finally we began mediation and the mediator had a one on one meeting with him. He called me after that meeting and told me that he will be putting through a direct deposit request to have the child support payments put into my account each pay period. Evidently *I* don't have any clue what I'm talking about but the mediator does. Eh whatever, as long as he starts paying it I don't really care. We are proceeding towards divorce, I am working to establish boundaries with him which he ignores on a daily basis, and I'm looking forward to being on my own completely.
My dad is doing much better! Got a call from the stepmonster today that they removed the vent from my dad and they are working on getting him to talk. YAY!! I am going down to see him again next weekend for his 80th birthday and it'll be so nice to see him without that darned ventilator attached. I'm so happy and excited about it. It's going to be a short trip...just overnight but it's all I could afford as I don't have any more vacation time. I'll be there for most of his birthday and part of the next day which is all that I cared about.
Bug and I have both been sick since the middle of last week. My voice just came back today...but Bug is losing his now. I hate being sick but even more I hate seeing my little guy sick. ::sigh::
The soldier is still around, we are seeing each other but neither have made a declaration of exclusivity. He made a comment today to the effect that he hasn't put a ring on my finger so I'm free to do whatever I want but that he wanted to remind me that he doesn't share. LOL I can really see this relationship being something healthy and real for us both. We talk through issues and really deal with problems instead of arguing or letting them fester. The part that scares me is that I'm concerned that I am merely a rebound relationship considering he's just coming off of a separation/divorce from a cheating spouse. It does worry me and we have actually talked about it...but I really can't do much about it except hope it doesn't happen.
The cop is gone. He didn't call or have any contact for about 4-5 days. I finally called him and asked what the hell happened. He told me that he didn't know...that he evidently had second thoughts about pursuing a relationship after our FIRST DATE....but he continued to pursue me and text and call me on a daily basis...what the hell is that?!?!?!?! I'm so tired of confused, misguided, unsure little boys. He was very apologetic and he's tried to make amends I suppose by being friendly but it's not fixing it.
There is a new boy on the horizon, lol. He's an ex-cop...lol. Not your usual male, he has some very different thoughts and beliefs about life and relationship, all very cool stuff. We have been talking for weeks and trying to make plans to go out. We finally did tonight. What a mess!!! I was immediately attracted to him and struck by how much cuter he was than in his photos.... We had dinner and then he walked me to my car. No kiss, no hug, no hand holding, nothing...just a thanks for the evening, good luck. I was a bit confused and disappointed because I thought we had been having a great time. I pulled out of the restaurant very confused and frustrated. Thankfully I managed to send him a text message just thanking him for dinner. In the exchange of a half dozen text messages it finally came to light that we BOTH were attracted to each other but thought the other wasn't interested...lol Talk about miscommunication and misunderstanding!! So we talked tonight on the phone, hashed out what lead us both to the thoughts/opinions we had and then agreed to put all the confusion in the past. I told him that I'd definitely like to see him again and he agreed. So we're planning to go out in two weeks since I"ll be out of town next weekend. It just made it glaringly obvious how bad I am at reading other people's responses and actions. I was WAY off base...but he was as well.
JM and I exchanged a few emails before the holiday weekend. He actually had the audacity to tell me that while he knows I deserve better than he can give, he hopes that I'll be happy and wondered if I'd consider becoming FWBs with him!!!!!!!!! After the relationship we had he thinks I can simply put my feelings aside on a shelf and jump into it sexually? I simply laughed at him...I was positively shocked that he'd even consider something like that much less vocalize his desire. By the way Matt I did take his phone number out of my cell phone.
Speaking of numbers on my cell phone...I did remove Cali's number from my phone memory. I used to have his cell phone number memorized but he recently got a new phone and I never memorized that one...good thing!!
In any case, life is going along slowly but surely. I am heading to bed...I'm exhausted and really need some sleep.
Nite all.
3 comments:
Great - you took my advice! (You probably thought of it on your own anyway.)
The ex-cop sounds like a good prospect. Just be sure that you know what you're looking for in the relationship, and that you aren't getting signals crossed or projecting negatives again. (That'll be five cents, please...)
"I'm free to do whatever I want but that he wanted to remind me that he doesn't share." That last bit makes me uncomfortable. What are you, a pie? He can't have it both ways and you need to be careful before you jump into something exclusive. I had a guy say that to me, and it blew up in my face. You are not required by law or soldier to be exclusive this early out of your marriage. It smacks of control and that is something to be very leery of, esp. when you have the other ex-cop on the horizon... my guess is the solider has issues stemming from his own situation, don't get sucked into them.
Lawd I'm full of advice tonight! Sorry...
Actually, I think you misread it or I simply misquoted it. He isn't saying that he can do what he wants. What he was saying was that I (Drama) am free to do what I want...he doesn't have any rights or claim to me but if given the choice and/or option he would prefer I not be seeing anyone else. He's basically saying that as our relationship progresses and we move to a more committed relationship at that point he would have something to say about that.
In other news...and I don't know if I'll post an update....the ex cop freaked out. He read something I wrote on another site we both frequent and had a fit. The comment was made in gest to a friend of mine, a sort of private joke and he took it personally. Good riddance if he can't handle my sense of humor.
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