Where do I begin?

My thoughts and feelings are all over the place so forgive me if this becomes a bit disjointed and confusing. I'll try to keep things in separate topics/situations for some cohesiveness. Wish me luck.

The Party - FABULOUS. Everyone showed up (30 some people), everyone had a great time, the food was awesome and very little was left (Yay!), the liquor was plentiful - I was worried that I wouldn't have enough but everyone seemed to come in bearing gifts of libations. Heh. My manager came along with his girlfriend. Whew she is a riot! By the end of the night we had declared ourselves BFFs and decided that we MUST do this more often and start spending time together, much to his chagrin. We exchanged phone numbers before they left. He was rolling his eyes. He'll get over it I'm sure. K made it. He was a bit late but since much of my guests didn't arrive exactly on time he hadn't missed much. We had a great time and I was so happy to see him. =) It was a great mixture of work friends, divorce group friends, and old friends...everyone got along quite well. In fact my nail tech pulled me aside and told me that I had helped save her happy marriage. LOL Evidently they went to a really boring party the night before and her hub was afraid my party would be equally as boring. He came up to her and thanked her, said he was having more fun the first 10 minutes than he had all night at the other party. YAY Me! The last guests left at about 1:30ish and K and I enjoyed ourselves a bit *grin* until about 3 before we both passed out a wee bit buzzed and a whole lot satisfied.

Sunday we woke up and neither of us were in the mood to do anything. I made breakfast for us but otherwise he did a bit of laundry and then we planted ourselves on the couch/loveseat watching the football game. Neither of us got out of our PJs/sweats and only left the couch to visit the bathroom or replenish drinks. I did make a trip out to pick up lunch but then right back to the couch. It was a lazy buc comfortable day. Bug came home late that evening and by then I was awake enough to be a coherent parent. K left to head home, despite not wanting to make the trip and thinking that maybe he should just stay the night and head straight to work from my place Monday morning. I wouldn't have minded the company in bed. ;-)

This week has been really hectic at work. We are extremely busy and I don't see any signs of it letting up. My direct boss finally acknowledged that I need some type of help, even if it's someone to do some of the mundane portions of my job. Thank goodness!! I've been drowning for a couple months now and didn't think a life raft was available. It's funny how my party really opened up friendships at work. Our office has been referred to as somewhat of a morgue or bank atmosphere by most. But since my party some of us are making plans to go out after work, to get together for holidays, groups of us go out to lunch together, more than just a work only relationship. A number of my co-workers have commented how nice that is. I agree, it's much easier for the day to go by when you get along with your co-workers and it's not just a business only relationship.

K and I have had our share of ups and downs...some serious conversations this week, heart to heart talks. The thing that strikes me about our relationship is that we're not perfect but we can calmly and rationally talk about things that are on our mind without getting angry with each other or blowing up. I spent Thursday night at his place and we ended up in what could have been a pretty heated discussion about things...but it stayed calm and civil and respectful. Neither one of us exploded or said anything that could be volatile...we heard each other out and responded respectfully. That's not to say it's perfect, far from it...but I was struck by how civil and calm we were able to keep things. I think it's due to the amount of respect we have for each other and his maturity when it comes to our relationship. Things are still very up in the air, we had another discussion about things last night. Much of the issues are things that I have to work through on my own...he's being patient and cool about it but I know that a lot of it is my own insecurities and past experience. I'm used to being in relationships with men who lie and do much the opposite of what they promise...so even though K has not given me reason to distrust him I have a hard time shaking that *training*. Unfortunately he ends up bearing the brunt of the punishment for the jerks in my past. That's not fair to him or me or our relationship and I am working hard to get through that. I just hope I can do it and he'll be patient enough to wait while I do. I care so much about him and he makes me ridiculously happy. I feel like a giddy little school girl when we're together...over the freakin' moon happy. In some ways I really feel like I'm unconsciously sabotaging things...it wouldn't be the first time. ::sigh::

So that's my life in a nutshell. I have plans tonight but I'm not really in the mood to socialize. I'll go since I committed to the evening and I'm bringing a dish. Who knows, it may turn into a fabulous evening...or not.