Day 4

That's Day 4 with no phone call or text from K. He did email me yesterday morning to say hi and that he was ok. He said that it's been very difficult not talking to me but he needs to do this now for himself and for us. He said we'd talk soon. I sent him a brief response thanking him for letting me know that he's ok and that I was thinking about him. That was it. I didn't say what was in my heart, that I miss him like crazy, that I'm dying to see him, etc. I opted to take the casual, laid back, distant route. I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm doing surprisingly well. Yes, I do miss him, yes I want to see him and touch him...but I'll get through this. I'm doing better than I ever imagined. I'm not a basket case, I'm keeping busy. I do go through periodic bouts of insecurity and my mind begins to run away with me. What is he doing? Did he find someone else? Why is it so easy for him to not call...etc. But according to his email, it's not that easy for him. I have to keep that in mind and trust in him and in us. I deleted his phone number from my cell phone. Not because I think we're over...I did it because I need to remove the temptation to pick up the phone and call or text him whenever the mood strikes me. I have his number saved in a couple of places just not readily available. I need to do what I promised him...give him time and space. How long and how much remains to be determined. I'm merely taking it one day at a time right now.