It's past my bedtime...
but I'm here, I have a million things that need to be done but I can't motivate myself to do any of it. Bleh...
Bug is sick and like a wonderfully dedicated mom, I sent him off to spend the night with family. I had no choice and I'm really feeling like a horribly rotten momma. I *have to* work tomorrow...my boss and the manager that I am partnered with are both on vacation tomorrow. That means I need to do the manager's job AND my own and there is NOBODY else to do either. JD can't take any more time off otherwise he's been threatened to be terminated. I can't send Bug to daycare...so I called his Godmother and she is taking him for the next two days. I KNOW he's in good hands...possibly even better than being with me..heh...but it still feels horribly irresponsible and unmotherly to know I've shipped off my little boy when he's ill. He was excited to go, she has two puppies that he LOVES and they love him...but still. ::sigh::
I've worked to push K out of my thought process. When I allow him to remain in my mind it hurts and the tears rise to the surface. I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of making myself crazy. I need to move forward, move on, grow and get stronger. Sitting here thinking and wishing about what could have or should have been isn't going to get me anywhere.
I have a lot of things on my social calendar for January. Lots of great activities that will definitely keep me busy. None of which that I think will afford me the opportunity to meet any quality men necessarily but it'll get me out of the house and hanging out with friends. I need that.
I truly do not know what I would do without C and T. They are my rock and my support system. I would have never imagined back in January when I joined the divorce group that I'd meet my two best friends and we'd forge such strong friendships. I trust them both with my life and with Bug's. They've truly kept me sane when I wasn't sure I had another ounce of sanity left. It's sad to think that I've never had this level of friendship. I've had friends but they were always more of an acquaintance than anything else. I never truly felt that I could rely on them and I never felt that they would rely on me. This is definitely something new and it's amazing. I'm truly blessed.
I'm in the process of doing a bit of soul searching and coming up with some goals for myself. Not resolutions, because I don't believe in resolutions...these are things I'd like to accomplish in the future. Maybe they won't be fulfilled in 2009, maybe it'll take til 2010 but I will do my best to accomplish them. I think I'll post them for myself and to keep myself accountable. Once I get them together in a more thought out list.
Well it's late and I need to go to work in the am. Sweet dreams, Drama Queens!
Bug is sick and like a wonderfully dedicated mom, I sent him off to spend the night with family. I had no choice and I'm really feeling like a horribly rotten momma. I *have to* work tomorrow...my boss and the manager that I am partnered with are both on vacation tomorrow. That means I need to do the manager's job AND my own and there is NOBODY else to do either. JD can't take any more time off otherwise he's been threatened to be terminated. I can't send Bug to daycare...so I called his Godmother and she is taking him for the next two days. I KNOW he's in good hands...possibly even better than being with me..heh...but it still feels horribly irresponsible and unmotherly to know I've shipped off my little boy when he's ill. He was excited to go, she has two puppies that he LOVES and they love him...but still. ::sigh::
I've worked to push K out of my thought process. When I allow him to remain in my mind it hurts and the tears rise to the surface. I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of making myself crazy. I need to move forward, move on, grow and get stronger. Sitting here thinking and wishing about what could have or should have been isn't going to get me anywhere.
I have a lot of things on my social calendar for January. Lots of great activities that will definitely keep me busy. None of which that I think will afford me the opportunity to meet any quality men necessarily but it'll get me out of the house and hanging out with friends. I need that.
I truly do not know what I would do without C and T. They are my rock and my support system. I would have never imagined back in January when I joined the divorce group that I'd meet my two best friends and we'd forge such strong friendships. I trust them both with my life and with Bug's. They've truly kept me sane when I wasn't sure I had another ounce of sanity left. It's sad to think that I've never had this level of friendship. I've had friends but they were always more of an acquaintance than anything else. I never truly felt that I could rely on them and I never felt that they would rely on me. This is definitely something new and it's amazing. I'm truly blessed.
I'm in the process of doing a bit of soul searching and coming up with some goals for myself. Not resolutions, because I don't believe in resolutions...these are things I'd like to accomplish in the future. Maybe they won't be fulfilled in 2009, maybe it'll take til 2010 but I will do my best to accomplish them. I think I'll post them for myself and to keep myself accountable. Once I get them together in a more thought out list.
Well it's late and I need to go to work in the am. Sweet dreams, Drama Queens!
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