Parties, Money, and Working Out...
Today was pretty much a wasted day. Bug and I got going late this morning so I wasn't able to get to the gym first thing as I had hoped.
My sister called me this week to find out what I was planning to do for my mom's birthday this year, as she's hitting a milestone. Uh well, actually I was planning nothing. After the breakdown in our relationship it just didn't feel right to be spearheading a big celebration. I'm always the one that plans and hosts the big celebrations for my mom despite the fact that I have two older siblings. I told my sister that and she said that she really wants to plan something for my mom. So I got pulled into the planning because I'm closer in proximity to my mom than my sister. So I spent this morning working on a guest list and searching the internet for current addresses for various family members. I'll need to contact my cousin and maybe an aunt or uncle to obtain the addresses I'm missing.
While I was working on the list, Cali texted me to let me know that he had gotten called into work due to an emergency so he would call me when he went to lunch. I have to say that I am truly touched by the effort he has made to maintain contact. If he promises to call and isn't able to, he always texts me to let me know...it's the little things that really show how much he cares. He is always taking note of things I mention in conversation and then I'll notice that he's made an effort to do something that I mentioned previously, even in casual conversation.
I am really struggling with the whole work situation. My current job is great because it's very flexible but there is no way she can offer me full time hours which is what I am now convinced I will need, especially with the potential of a separation looming. So I'm debating whether to restart my old business or pursue a good old fashioned full time job. The old business would require a small amount of cash to start up but overhead would be minimal and I would have amazing flexibility as I could schedule clients when Bug was in school or in the evening when I could get a sitter. However, the income would be sporadic at the beginning until advertising was in place and I had a few clients booked. The full time job would provide immediate rewards ($$) but would require putting Bug into full time daycare which would jeopardize his current school situation, unless I can score a job that will allow me flexibility to take him to and from school, maybe in lieu of my lunch break. In any case, I did send out a handful of resumes today and talked to a contact about a potential job. I'm terrified of getting back into the full time job market...what if I can't handle it? I haven't worked FULL TIME since Bug was a newborn, actually even then I worked from home for a handful of hours so I've really not worked full time since Bug was born. I do have to admit as I was going through the job ads and sending off my resume I started to get excited about the thought of working again, being around real adults for an entire day (!!), and actually making decent money. The thought of freedom and supporting myself really gave me a bit more motivation. It's still really scary.
Cali called me while I was sending out resumes and I mentioned it to him. He was a bit surprised as I've not mentioned the thought of getting a full time job to him. Honestly, up until today it was nothing but a fleeting thought in my head. We talked about it and he really thinks the thought of restarting my old business was a great idea because it would afford me the ability to be with Bug and not put him in daycare. He knows how much the thought of putting Bug in daycare frustrates me, as I had looked into that because of my current job. But he was very supportive and told me that he hoped I found whatever would make me happy. Another drawback to a *regular* full time job is the limitation on our contact and time together. I won't be able to take 2-3 days during a given week to fly out to Cali to see him or be able to take days off when he comes in. In the end, I need to do what's best for me and Bug; our financial well being trumps any potentially lost contact with Cali but I won't deny that the thought of not seeing him as often bums me out a bit. So I struggle with the roller coaster of possibilities. If a fabulous job offer comes my way I'm not about to pass it up, but I'm also not going to take just any offer. I need to make sure it's going to allow me to pay my bills and still survive!
I had to meet JD to look at some home improvement stuff after he got out of work, so Bug and i headed out to meet him. After getting everything settled there, we headed home and picked up dinner on the way. I was going to cook but by the time we got done with our shopping it was fairly late and we were all really hungry.
I went to the gym after dinner, since I wasn't able to go this morning. Got a shorter but really good workout in with 30 minutes of cardio and my lower body weight training. My trainer suggested that I alternate the upper and lower body weight training since I do workout every day. So I'm doing cardio 7 days a week with lower body weights on M/W/F and upper body on T/Th/Sat. I'm looking forward to maintaining this regular routine and hopefully seeing results. I can already feel a difference on some of the machines so that's cool.
I had to stop at the store on the way home to grab some sundries. As I was checking out, Cali called. We talked for a few minutes as he was on his way home. Not an incredibly deep conversation, actually more of a reconnecting of sorts I guess. Just talking about his job, my workout, and our plans (or lack thereof) for the weekend. He said he'd definitely call or text me tomorrow. I'm much more calm about hearing from him over the weekend...of course I say that now on Friday evening. HA!! We shall see how I am by Sunday afternoon. LOL We were talking about personality types and he said something to me about him being a procrastinator which I already knew. He was surprised that I had figured that out about him already...hehe. I mentioned to him that it's funny how he's much more laid back and takes things as they come and doesn't worry about things, where I am much more hyper and want to deal with things NOW, I don't like to wait it out to see what is going to happen. I commented that I think we are learning from each other and he agreed, mentioning that he has noticed that I'm much more calm about things. Certain things that used to set me off don't as much....and on the other hand, he has become much more proactive in certain areas, so we're sort of meeting each other in the middle.
Well I better get some sleep. Morning and a very wide awake bouncy Bug come far too quickly. Sleep tight, Drama Queens!
My sister called me this week to find out what I was planning to do for my mom's birthday this year, as she's hitting a milestone. Uh well, actually I was planning nothing. After the breakdown in our relationship it just didn't feel right to be spearheading a big celebration. I'm always the one that plans and hosts the big celebrations for my mom despite the fact that I have two older siblings. I told my sister that and she said that she really wants to plan something for my mom. So I got pulled into the planning because I'm closer in proximity to my mom than my sister. So I spent this morning working on a guest list and searching the internet for current addresses for various family members. I'll need to contact my cousin and maybe an aunt or uncle to obtain the addresses I'm missing.
While I was working on the list, Cali texted me to let me know that he had gotten called into work due to an emergency so he would call me when he went to lunch. I have to say that I am truly touched by the effort he has made to maintain contact. If he promises to call and isn't able to, he always texts me to let me know...it's the little things that really show how much he cares. He is always taking note of things I mention in conversation and then I'll notice that he's made an effort to do something that I mentioned previously, even in casual conversation.
I am really struggling with the whole work situation. My current job is great because it's very flexible but there is no way she can offer me full time hours which is what I am now convinced I will need, especially with the potential of a separation looming. So I'm debating whether to restart my old business or pursue a good old fashioned full time job. The old business would require a small amount of cash to start up but overhead would be minimal and I would have amazing flexibility as I could schedule clients when Bug was in school or in the evening when I could get a sitter. However, the income would be sporadic at the beginning until advertising was in place and I had a few clients booked. The full time job would provide immediate rewards ($$) but would require putting Bug into full time daycare which would jeopardize his current school situation, unless I can score a job that will allow me flexibility to take him to and from school, maybe in lieu of my lunch break. In any case, I did send out a handful of resumes today and talked to a contact about a potential job. I'm terrified of getting back into the full time job market...what if I can't handle it? I haven't worked FULL TIME since Bug was a newborn, actually even then I worked from home for a handful of hours so I've really not worked full time since Bug was born. I do have to admit as I was going through the job ads and sending off my resume I started to get excited about the thought of working again, being around real adults for an entire day (!!), and actually making decent money. The thought of freedom and supporting myself really gave me a bit more motivation. It's still really scary.
Cali called me while I was sending out resumes and I mentioned it to him. He was a bit surprised as I've not mentioned the thought of getting a full time job to him. Honestly, up until today it was nothing but a fleeting thought in my head. We talked about it and he really thinks the thought of restarting my old business was a great idea because it would afford me the ability to be with Bug and not put him in daycare. He knows how much the thought of putting Bug in daycare frustrates me, as I had looked into that because of my current job. But he was very supportive and told me that he hoped I found whatever would make me happy. Another drawback to a *regular* full time job is the limitation on our contact and time together. I won't be able to take 2-3 days during a given week to fly out to Cali to see him or be able to take days off when he comes in. In the end, I need to do what's best for me and Bug; our financial well being trumps any potentially lost contact with Cali but I won't deny that the thought of not seeing him as often bums me out a bit. So I struggle with the roller coaster of possibilities. If a fabulous job offer comes my way I'm not about to pass it up, but I'm also not going to take just any offer. I need to make sure it's going to allow me to pay my bills and still survive!
I had to meet JD to look at some home improvement stuff after he got out of work, so Bug and i headed out to meet him. After getting everything settled there, we headed home and picked up dinner on the way. I was going to cook but by the time we got done with our shopping it was fairly late and we were all really hungry.
I went to the gym after dinner, since I wasn't able to go this morning. Got a shorter but really good workout in with 30 minutes of cardio and my lower body weight training. My trainer suggested that I alternate the upper and lower body weight training since I do workout every day. So I'm doing cardio 7 days a week with lower body weights on M/W/F and upper body on T/Th/Sat. I'm looking forward to maintaining this regular routine and hopefully seeing results. I can already feel a difference on some of the machines so that's cool.
I had to stop at the store on the way home to grab some sundries. As I was checking out, Cali called. We talked for a few minutes as he was on his way home. Not an incredibly deep conversation, actually more of a reconnecting of sorts I guess. Just talking about his job, my workout, and our plans (or lack thereof) for the weekend. He said he'd definitely call or text me tomorrow. I'm much more calm about hearing from him over the weekend...of course I say that now on Friday evening. HA!! We shall see how I am by Sunday afternoon. LOL We were talking about personality types and he said something to me about him being a procrastinator which I already knew. He was surprised that I had figured that out about him already...hehe. I mentioned to him that it's funny how he's much more laid back and takes things as they come and doesn't worry about things, where I am much more hyper and want to deal with things NOW, I don't like to wait it out to see what is going to happen. I commented that I think we are learning from each other and he agreed, mentioning that he has noticed that I'm much more calm about things. Certain things that used to set me off don't as much....and on the other hand, he has become much more proactive in certain areas, so we're sort of meeting each other in the middle.
Well I better get some sleep. Morning and a very wide awake bouncy Bug come far too quickly. Sleep tight, Drama Queens!
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