A Whole Lotta Nuthin'
That's exactly what I've got today. It's rainy outside and my mood is equally as depressing. Bleh.
Yesterday evening I made it to the gym and got in a full workout. Since I hadn't worked out in a week I did both upper and lower body weights but didn't have time to do any more than 15 minutes of cardio. I had my weigh in and had to leave to get there. That's ok I felt like I got a good workout in, and it was a nice jumpstart to getting back into the gym again. I really needed it. I managed to lose .4 lbs. which was good, considering I hadn't really been diligent with my eating habits this past week due to being sick. I'll take a little less than half a lb. Works for me. Although when I mentioned it to JD he commented that it wasn't that good. Eh whatever jackass.
After my meeting I was talking to Mamacita for a while as she's been dealing with a situation that has her feeling pretty down. While I was talking to Mamacita, Cali texted me to let me know that he was home and missing me but wasn't up to calling but would call me today. No problem, he's been in so much pain lately and I just want him to get as much rest as he possibly can.
We ended up talking for almost an hour after the meeting, which made me later than I had wanted to get home to make dinner. I called JD and told him I was picking up dinner instead and to see what he wanted. Grabbed dinner and headed home to eat. Got Bug ready for bed and ended up crashing out in his bed as I got him settled for the night. I woke up around 1:30 am and headed to bed myself.
This morning I exchanged text messages with E for a bit. It's quite apparent that we will never be the good friends he insisted we would be. It's much more an all or nothing situation and we'll never be the *all*. I'm kind of sad, cuz I do like him and really enjoy hanging out with him, but a friendship between us is awkward and stressed now. I don't know if that will ever be different and that makes me sad. Why can't you *ever* be friends with a guy without the whole sex and emotions crap popping into the equation? It really sucks. Bleh
It's rainy today and I have no desire to do anything so I'm in my sweats and getting laundry done. JD is off work but helping out his dad today. He'll be home later so that I can go take my drug test for the new job. Otherwise I'll drag my butt to the gym again this evening, Mamacita said she was going to be there tonight, which would be cool for us to work out together...been what seems like forever since we worked out together.
Cali called me a few minutes ago as he was driving into one of the offices to file some paperwork. He's still in a lot of pain but has to file this paperwork today otherwise he'll lose all the work he's done thus far and have to start at square one. Not good. Luckily, he saw the specialist yesterday and they scheduled him for the procedure tomorrow. So hopefully by this weekend he'll be seeing some relief in this painful situation. We had a very good conversation, something we haven't been able to do in days with his pain level being so bad. It was really nice to reconnect and talk a bit. Just to see how he's been and what's been happening in his life, aside from all the pain from this health situation. I miss him so much. He mentioned at least a half dozen times during our conversation that he really misses me....something he doesn't do very often. I mean, he will say he misses me but the fact that he mentioned it numerous times really struck me. He also commented how sad he was that we aren't together since today was the day I was scheduled to arrive in California. I am surprisingly ok with the turn of events, not that I don't want to be with him or don't miss him, just that his getting healthier and stronger is much more important right now. As we were talking, he mentioned something about his watch catching on the hairs on his arm. That comment reminded me of driving in the car with him, looking at his muscular arms on the steering wheel, I was struck by how incredibly sexy his arms were and how that visual affected me. That of course brought up all kinds of other sensory reminders and I made the mistake of opening my mouth and sharing them. Whoops, not a good idea. It just proved to further frustrate the both of us at the fact that we couldn't be together to *take care* of any of those issues. Soon enough though, soon enough. It's going to be 4 or 5 weeks which seems like absolutely forever but it'll be the right timing and we won't have to rush through or worry about health issues or logistical nightmares. I can live with that. It also gives me 4-5 weeks to lose some more weight. I am thinking another 10 lbs. is definitely doable by then. Cali keeps insisting that he doesn't care if I lose another lb. that I am perfect just the way I am. However, I would *love* to show up 10 lbs. lighter to see him. It would actually be 15 lbs. at that point from the last time he saw me. A definite improvement and one I can live with. So that's my goal, once we have the travel dates finalized.
Tomorrow is Bug's last day of school before Spring Break. Heaven help us both, an entire week together, every single day. Oh boy, going to be a definite challenge. I think I need to start planning some outings to keep us occupied. Although I'm actually looking forward to being able to *sleep in* a bit and not having to rush around to get him to school and such. I think by the end of the week we're going to need to do a trial run for getting up early, since the following week I start the new job. Poor kid is going to need to get up at the butt crack of dawn to be shuttled to and from daycare. I hope he's able to adjust to it without too much stress. I hope *I* am able to adjust to it without too much stress. LOL
The more I think about the new job and trying to work in time to talk to Cali and see him, I'm feeling pretty optimistic. By the time he would be calling me, my work day would already be over halfway complete. Most of our conversations take place in the evening, on his way home from work which ends up being 7pm or later for me. No big change in my day. The benefit is that I won't be sitting at home getting frustrated or depressed or have all that time to worry and wonder. Bonus! Not to mention I might actually make some real life friends who I can talk to about things other than going to the potty and how many packages of fruit snacks they can eat. LOL When we do plan our time together, I'll have funds to be able to actually make the trip(s) without worrying or having to scrimp and save. All in all I think it's a good move to take this job. I just hope it's a good fit for me and I enjoy the work, only time will tell.
Well I should try to get something worthwhile accomplished today, so I'm going to sign out. Have a great day!
Yesterday evening I made it to the gym and got in a full workout. Since I hadn't worked out in a week I did both upper and lower body weights but didn't have time to do any more than 15 minutes of cardio. I had my weigh in and had to leave to get there. That's ok I felt like I got a good workout in, and it was a nice jumpstart to getting back into the gym again. I really needed it. I managed to lose .4 lbs. which was good, considering I hadn't really been diligent with my eating habits this past week due to being sick. I'll take a little less than half a lb. Works for me. Although when I mentioned it to JD he commented that it wasn't that good. Eh whatever jackass.
After my meeting I was talking to Mamacita for a while as she's been dealing with a situation that has her feeling pretty down. While I was talking to Mamacita, Cali texted me to let me know that he was home and missing me but wasn't up to calling but would call me today. No problem, he's been in so much pain lately and I just want him to get as much rest as he possibly can.
We ended up talking for almost an hour after the meeting, which made me later than I had wanted to get home to make dinner. I called JD and told him I was picking up dinner instead and to see what he wanted. Grabbed dinner and headed home to eat. Got Bug ready for bed and ended up crashing out in his bed as I got him settled for the night. I woke up around 1:30 am and headed to bed myself.
This morning I exchanged text messages with E for a bit. It's quite apparent that we will never be the good friends he insisted we would be. It's much more an all or nothing situation and we'll never be the *all*. I'm kind of sad, cuz I do like him and really enjoy hanging out with him, but a friendship between us is awkward and stressed now. I don't know if that will ever be different and that makes me sad. Why can't you *ever* be friends with a guy without the whole sex and emotions crap popping into the equation? It really sucks. Bleh
It's rainy today and I have no desire to do anything so I'm in my sweats and getting laundry done. JD is off work but helping out his dad today. He'll be home later so that I can go take my drug test for the new job. Otherwise I'll drag my butt to the gym again this evening, Mamacita said she was going to be there tonight, which would be cool for us to work out together...been what seems like forever since we worked out together.
Cali called me a few minutes ago as he was driving into one of the offices to file some paperwork. He's still in a lot of pain but has to file this paperwork today otherwise he'll lose all the work he's done thus far and have to start at square one. Not good. Luckily, he saw the specialist yesterday and they scheduled him for the procedure tomorrow. So hopefully by this weekend he'll be seeing some relief in this painful situation. We had a very good conversation, something we haven't been able to do in days with his pain level being so bad. It was really nice to reconnect and talk a bit. Just to see how he's been and what's been happening in his life, aside from all the pain from this health situation. I miss him so much. He mentioned at least a half dozen times during our conversation that he really misses me....something he doesn't do very often. I mean, he will say he misses me but the fact that he mentioned it numerous times really struck me. He also commented how sad he was that we aren't together since today was the day I was scheduled to arrive in California. I am surprisingly ok with the turn of events, not that I don't want to be with him or don't miss him, just that his getting healthier and stronger is much more important right now. As we were talking, he mentioned something about his watch catching on the hairs on his arm. That comment reminded me of driving in the car with him, looking at his muscular arms on the steering wheel, I was struck by how incredibly sexy his arms were and how that visual affected me. That of course brought up all kinds of other sensory reminders and I made the mistake of opening my mouth and sharing them. Whoops, not a good idea. It just proved to further frustrate the both of us at the fact that we couldn't be together to *take care* of any of those issues. Soon enough though, soon enough. It's going to be 4 or 5 weeks which seems like absolutely forever but it'll be the right timing and we won't have to rush through or worry about health issues or logistical nightmares. I can live with that. It also gives me 4-5 weeks to lose some more weight. I am thinking another 10 lbs. is definitely doable by then. Cali keeps insisting that he doesn't care if I lose another lb. that I am perfect just the way I am. However, I would *love* to show up 10 lbs. lighter to see him. It would actually be 15 lbs. at that point from the last time he saw me. A definite improvement and one I can live with. So that's my goal, once we have the travel dates finalized.
Tomorrow is Bug's last day of school before Spring Break. Heaven help us both, an entire week together, every single day. Oh boy, going to be a definite challenge. I think I need to start planning some outings to keep us occupied. Although I'm actually looking forward to being able to *sleep in* a bit and not having to rush around to get him to school and such. I think by the end of the week we're going to need to do a trial run for getting up early, since the following week I start the new job. Poor kid is going to need to get up at the butt crack of dawn to be shuttled to and from daycare. I hope he's able to adjust to it without too much stress. I hope *I* am able to adjust to it without too much stress. LOL
The more I think about the new job and trying to work in time to talk to Cali and see him, I'm feeling pretty optimistic. By the time he would be calling me, my work day would already be over halfway complete. Most of our conversations take place in the evening, on his way home from work which ends up being 7pm or later for me. No big change in my day. The benefit is that I won't be sitting at home getting frustrated or depressed or have all that time to worry and wonder. Bonus! Not to mention I might actually make some real life friends who I can talk to about things other than going to the potty and how many packages of fruit snacks they can eat. LOL When we do plan our time together, I'll have funds to be able to actually make the trip(s) without worrying or having to scrimp and save. All in all I think it's a good move to take this job. I just hope it's a good fit for me and I enjoy the work, only time will tell.
Well I should try to get something worthwhile accomplished today, so I'm going to sign out. Have a great day!
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