Wednesday Ramblings
Yes I'm at home...yes it's after 9am...yes I should be at work. Best laid plans..::sigh:: Got up this morning and rushed around to get Bug to daycare and me to work. Bug had an absolute meltdown at the daycare when I tried to drop him off. By the time I tried to calm him down I was already 15 minutes late to work and was still super emotional. I couldn't just walk away from him. I'm sure many people think that I should have just walked out and left him to cry but it goes against every fiber of my being and everything I've ever done as a parent. I. just. could. NOT. do. it! So I packed him up and brought him home. Figuring I could sit down and talk to him without a rush. Called my boss and he was very understanding, I told him I'd be in later today as soon as I got the daycare situation settled. I called the director of the daycare and got the standard, "It takes some time for kids to transition, blah blah". Yes I am aware of the transitioning and I'm willing to allow for that but there are some things that Bug has commented on re: the day and how the teachers interact that I wanted to clarify and discuss with her. We discussed them, I'm not sure if it was helpful or not but at least my feelings are out in the open. I'm going to give it a couple more weeks and in the meantime I am going to start looking for a private daycare or someone who will come take care of Bug here at our place. I think it's a better fit than the *institutional daycare* situation. Wish me luck!
Work went well yesterday, nothing terribly eventful. So much to learn and I feel dumb on a regular basis but I have to keep reminding myself that this is a complicated position and there is a LOT to learn. I hope in time I'll begin to grasp it all.
Cali called me on his way into the office and we talked for a few minutes. Our conversations are so comfortable lately. Very fun, sweet, and just plain wonderful. I feel so much closer to him now than ever before...it's an amazing feeling. He keeps reminding me of the countdown of how many days til we're together, not that I need to be reminded. It is really sweet to hear him getting excited and counting the days.
After work, I went to the gym for a brief cardio workout. I had my weigh in so I had to cut my workout short in order to make it to my meeting in time. I'm down 2 lbs. which was great news.
I was on my way home from my meeting when Cali called. He was actually on his way home from work considerably earlier than normal. I was happy to hear from him of course, and even happier to hear he wasn't working until 9pm as he has been on most Tuesdays. We had another fabulous conversation about nothing in particular, hotel arrangements for when we're together, his plans for one of the evenings we're together (he's planning the entire evening with ZERO input from me...I can't wait!), the new job, my weight loss, Easter plans, etc. He's been so incredibly sweet and much more demonstrative of his feelings lately. It's not that I am not aware of his feelings for me...well for the most part I'm pretty confident that I know how he feels about me, but it's always really nice to hear. Especially when we're so far apart and all we have are the conversations we share. I'll take what I can get.
Evenings are becoming pretty stressful around here. JD pretty much still does what he does to make sure he gets his OWN stuff ready for work and that's it. I'm left to handle dinner, dishes, laundry, grocery, Bug, my stuff for work, the house, and my schedule which includes meetings, work, going to the gym, and whatever else I need to do. Yeah this isn't going to last. He's going to need to step up and start doing some of this. Last night he skipped off to bed early because he was *tired* yet I was up past midnight because I had to load the dishwasher, clean the kitchen counters and dining room table (that he made a mess of while I was at my meeting), straighten up the living room (which he allowed Bug to trash and not clean up afterwards), get my clothes AND Bugs ready for today, and the list goes on and on. I was tired too but nobody was going to take care of these things for me....so I had to stay up. Add to that the fact that Bug has had the sniffles since the weekend and he woke up twice in the middle of the night complaining about his nose...of course JD *never* woke up during those times, I was the one that did. Then this morning he asks me to start a load of dark laundry before I go to work, because after all his hands are broke and he's completely unable to work the washing machine. I rushed around getting ready and then put in a load of wash. As I walked into the laundry room I see that he had 4 pairs of work pants hanging in there, that I washed over the weekend. I had a gut feeling he was asking me to wash darks because he needed work pants but if he would have opened his damn eyes he would have seen them all hanging in the laundry room. I sent him a text asking what he needed washed...his response, "work pants". So I of course was ticked by then and replied, "You mean work pants like the 4 pairs that I washed OVER THE WEEKEND that have been hanging in the laundry room since SUNDAY?" His response, "OH yeah, I didn't see them". Oh good grief, open your eyes!! I'm not a happy Drama.
He informed me that he made an appt. to see our counselor by himself. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think on some level it's a conflict of interest but we'll see what happens. He said he needs some advice on how to handle things in our marriage so he wanted to talk to her. I have no idea what that means but whatever. I was surprised that she would even see him separately since we're already seeing her as couple. I know my counselor wouldn't see us as a couple as she felt it was a conflict. We shall see how this plays out.
Well I am going to give it another shot, taking Bug to daycare so I can at least get into work for part of the day. Taking everything one day at a time...it's the best I can do! TWO WEEKS from today I'll be in the arms of my Cali Guy. If I can just get through these 14 days I'll be an oh so happy camper. I have a feeling I am going to desperately need the time away, on a number of levels.
Have a great day.
Work went well yesterday, nothing terribly eventful. So much to learn and I feel dumb on a regular basis but I have to keep reminding myself that this is a complicated position and there is a LOT to learn. I hope in time I'll begin to grasp it all.
Cali called me on his way into the office and we talked for a few minutes. Our conversations are so comfortable lately. Very fun, sweet, and just plain wonderful. I feel so much closer to him now than ever before...it's an amazing feeling. He keeps reminding me of the countdown of how many days til we're together, not that I need to be reminded. It is really sweet to hear him getting excited and counting the days.
After work, I went to the gym for a brief cardio workout. I had my weigh in so I had to cut my workout short in order to make it to my meeting in time. I'm down 2 lbs. which was great news.
I was on my way home from my meeting when Cali called. He was actually on his way home from work considerably earlier than normal. I was happy to hear from him of course, and even happier to hear he wasn't working until 9pm as he has been on most Tuesdays. We had another fabulous conversation about nothing in particular, hotel arrangements for when we're together, his plans for one of the evenings we're together (he's planning the entire evening with ZERO input from me...I can't wait!), the new job, my weight loss, Easter plans, etc. He's been so incredibly sweet and much more demonstrative of his feelings lately. It's not that I am not aware of his feelings for me...well for the most part I'm pretty confident that I know how he feels about me, but it's always really nice to hear. Especially when we're so far apart and all we have are the conversations we share. I'll take what I can get.
Evenings are becoming pretty stressful around here. JD pretty much still does what he does to make sure he gets his OWN stuff ready for work and that's it. I'm left to handle dinner, dishes, laundry, grocery, Bug, my stuff for work, the house, and my schedule which includes meetings, work, going to the gym, and whatever else I need to do. Yeah this isn't going to last. He's going to need to step up and start doing some of this. Last night he skipped off to bed early because he was *tired* yet I was up past midnight because I had to load the dishwasher, clean the kitchen counters and dining room table (that he made a mess of while I was at my meeting), straighten up the living room (which he allowed Bug to trash and not clean up afterwards), get my clothes AND Bugs ready for today, and the list goes on and on. I was tired too but nobody was going to take care of these things for me....so I had to stay up. Add to that the fact that Bug has had the sniffles since the weekend and he woke up twice in the middle of the night complaining about his nose...of course JD *never* woke up during those times, I was the one that did. Then this morning he asks me to start a load of dark laundry before I go to work, because after all his hands are broke and he's completely unable to work the washing machine. I rushed around getting ready and then put in a load of wash. As I walked into the laundry room I see that he had 4 pairs of work pants hanging in there, that I washed over the weekend. I had a gut feeling he was asking me to wash darks because he needed work pants but if he would have opened his damn eyes he would have seen them all hanging in the laundry room. I sent him a text asking what he needed washed...his response, "work pants". So I of course was ticked by then and replied, "You mean work pants like the 4 pairs that I washed OVER THE WEEKEND that have been hanging in the laundry room since SUNDAY?" His response, "OH yeah, I didn't see them". Oh good grief, open your eyes!! I'm not a happy Drama.
He informed me that he made an appt. to see our counselor by himself. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think on some level it's a conflict of interest but we'll see what happens. He said he needs some advice on how to handle things in our marriage so he wanted to talk to her. I have no idea what that means but whatever. I was surprised that she would even see him separately since we're already seeing her as couple. I know my counselor wouldn't see us as a couple as she felt it was a conflict. We shall see how this plays out.
Well I am going to give it another shot, taking Bug to daycare so I can at least get into work for part of the day. Taking everything one day at a time...it's the best I can do! TWO WEEKS from today I'll be in the arms of my Cali Guy. If I can just get through these 14 days I'll be an oh so happy camper. I have a feeling I am going to desperately need the time away, on a number of levels.
Have a great day.
2 comments:
I'm a new reader and just wanted to say hi. I enjoyed what I read so far.
Divacowgirl,
Thanks for stopping by!
Drama
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