A little better....and a clarification...
Things are a little better emotionally here today. The guy I mentioned in my last post, I'll call him JM, that I had dated over the last couple weeks has resurfaced. We talked this morning and I think we got some things straightened out. After our conversation I really felt like we had made some headway and were on our way back to where we were...but then he hasn't called at all this evening as he said he would. I give up. I don't know what I am doing wrong...I just don't get it.
Cali ironically has become much more attentive, calling on a daily basis again. He keeps insisting that I not *give up* on him, that he is in fact coming to see me as soon as these new projects settle down. I am not expecting nor relying on it. I've learned that he's not someone I can rely on...how sad is that?
Tomorrow I'm going to a nearby music fest with a couple of my friends from work. I'm really looking forward to having some fun and hopefully letting go of some of this *stuff* in my head. The only drawback is that JM was supposed to go with us and he's now not going. Pffft. I need to put him out of my mind for tomorrow at least. Wish me luck with that..ha!
To clarify my last post, Is it too much to ask?, I am not high maintenance...at least *I* don't think I am. I give just as good as I get...actually better. I tend to give all of me, almost to my own detriment when it comes to a relationship. I guess I need to learn to hold back a bit...because I seem to attract guys that aren't willing or able to give back. I'm tired of being the caretaker/mommy/parent. I'm tired of being the support system while getting nothing in return. I just want to be taken care of...to be treated like the freakin' princess that I am. LOL JM was pretty close to doing that...but then he got all freaky about things and here we are.
Bleh I'm tired just thinking about it. I'm going to bed.
4 comments:
hang in there. Things will sort themselves out and you will be free to pursue what you want and need. Take your time though. Life is too short to rush (ironic isn't it?) :)
What you listed in "Is it too much to ask" does not make you high maintenance!! We are only human, we can only do so much without breaking down, mentally and physically. When I read your list, those are the wants and needs every lady has for the man she loves. I know you are lonely now, but better days are coming, I promise. Keep smiling. :-)
Thank you for the comments, Charmed. I know that in time things will be better, it's just getting over that *hump* right now. Trying to keep myself focused and taking care of what's most important - me and my son.
Drama
FL - Thanks for the kind words. Yes it is ironic...but very true. I know that eventually I will find what I want/need or at least I hope so. Until then I try to just take one day at a time, not the easiest for someone who was born a *planner*. ::sigh::
Drama
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