I'm a mess...
That's the easiest way to describe me right now. A mess. Emotionally, mentally, physically I am a mess. I can't focus, function, think straight. I am sick and then add to that my utter stupidity yesterday and the fact that AC is just avoiding me and it's not a good combination. I want to get in my car and drive to his house and just insist that he sit down and talk to me. But I know that isn't rational nor will he necessarily be willing to do that. I had at least a half dozen dreams about him last night. All of which ended with us finally talking and he agreeing to try again...but that he'd be cautious throughout. Imagine how frustrated and sad I was when I woke up and realized it was a all damn dream. He hasn't called despite saying he would. I realize it's still early but c'mon give me a break. Either call and say it's over or talk to me....is it that hard?
I need to go...I can't think about this anymore.
4 comments:
Amen Sister!!! I'm thinking that going back to bed sounds really good. But then my dreams/nightmares take over which is not a really good trade off. The beer in the fridge is starting to look mighty good.
Drama
Stop it, stop it, stop it!!!
Let him have a day or two, this is a lot to take in for him and pushing at this point WILL push him over the edge.
Let him have some space, because quite honestly he's had enough to take in. He can't respond, hence the silence.
My advice, pull back and give him some space. If he's leaving it won't change that, and if he's staying you'll be demonstrating a better you for the future.
Get busy with something else, anything else, and give him a little room.
I know...I know, Fiona. You are totally and completely right. I've been good after my last meltdown this am. I started a post about our conversation but haven't finished it to post. I did leave him ONE voice mail this afternoon but it as a lighthearted joking voice mail...a sort of private joke we've had.
Doing better....deep breaths.
Drama
Good for you....I know it's hard, I used to be the same, estimating how much he loved me by the amount or type of contact.
It's good to reach a better place, for both of you. Everyone is different and maybe he just needs more 'my time' than you think.
I can only offer up my experience and as you know, after some hurdles, such as the 'need' one, we are going to be together. But I did have to learn from him at the beginning and I really do feel better inside without the angst of creating silly storylines around his missed/late calls or emails. To just trust and accept what I can influence and what I shouldn't.
I really do hope this all works out for you hon. :)
Fi
Post a Comment