When will I ever learn?
It appears that I may just have tossed away the best thing that's happened to me. How incredibly stupid and clueless could I be? I'm just simply disgusted with myself and there is nothing I can do about it. I have no control over the outcome at this point and that in and of itself is making me crazy. I've stated my case...as best as I could...and now I just need to let things take their natural course. I realize that what's meant to be will be but Goddamnit did I need to be so stupid and open my freakin' mouth? Someone just slap me upside the head please. I think I'll got to bed and sleep the rest of today and tomorrow away.
I'm so done.
2 comments:
You said too much? What happened hon?
I freaked...I got upset, I left a shitty voice mail. He got hurt, offended, angry....he has pulled back. Rightfully so. We talked, I asked him to hold me...he did without reservation, we kissed briefly, he asked for time to think about it because I've now put unnecessary pressure on him. I hugged him and kissed him again and asked him not to walk away from what we have. He said he'd call tomorrow. I blew it..totally and completely. The decision is his now...and if he decides that he can't handle this it's my fault. He has so much going on professionally right now and his exact words were, "I can't handle any more stress or pressure right now." I know that and I knew that...I just wasn't thinking this morning. Stupid stupid big mouth.
So I sit here waiting and wondering.
Drama
Post a Comment