Defective...
I'm convinced...I am defective. Each time I find someone who cares about me, who wants me, I manage to figure out a way to trash it. I push them away and keep pushing until they give up. I say things that I know are going to damage us, but I say them anyway. I say and do these things knowing deep down the potential aftermath that it'll cause....
Stupidity? Defective? Maybe both....
5 comments:
Scared maybe?
Surely it can be repaired, can't it? Things were sounding so good there...Sorry goes a long way.
Don't give up, try again, call him.
You're NOT defective, at least not anymore than the rest of us...
Yes, well maybe both but not if you at least make a strong effort to repair the damage and make amends; otherwise, then yes - definitely so. You know what you need to do to make things right again. Time to suck it up and do so!
It goes from so good to so bad so quickly and you feel responsible?
It doesn't make you defective, it means you are afraid of good things and wittingly destroy them. That's not stupid or defective, it's self-destruction. Stupid and defective would be doing it without understanding.
Thing is, you understand your motives. There's something at play here much deeper than you seem to care to admit, Drama.
I know how it feels. I understand the self-destruction going on here. You have to work on it, yourself, stop yourself from destroying the good in your life. Become your own friend, not your own enemy. Suck it up when you feel it coming over you. Breathe your way through it. Fight that damn demon that tells you that you don't deserve happiness.
Your post on Sunday, contained quite a few men who didn't seem very nice to have known. It's easier breaking up with those. Sometimes they even do it for you. But breaking up from a good man, as you have always described him, is a wound you will always remember.
Don't let your demon win this time, hon.
I think you and your new love should sit down and talk this out before calling it quits. I've been stupid before and said things that pushed Mr. Wonderful away. The more I say them the more I realize it's the WRONG thing to say. Tell him you are sorry and this is just going to take some time. He must understand you are scared and SCARRED. Ask him to be patient and help you through these things. Hopefully he will have the endurance to help you and when you say something silly...he can tell you how maybe you could have said it differently but meant the same thing. I'm learning this myself...think before you speak. HUGS>
Don't let your fear of love keep you from being happy. Take things slow and be happy. Allow yourself to be happy. No matter what has happened in your life, you deserve to be happy.
No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect. There can be bumps in the road. Trust yourself to realize what you are doing to "destroy" everything. Learn how to stop being your own worst enemy.
You have a lot of people who believe in you. Now is the time to learn how to believe in yourself.
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