It's Over
It's over...as quickly as that. After a pretty good weekend and some discussion about future plans, the "Man" decided to announce this evening that he doesn't know what he wants out of life, out of our relationship, and he doesn't think he really loves me. ::thud::
So I packed up my stuff and hauled it all to my car - 4 trips because he wasn't even man enough to help me carry it all down the 3 flights of stairs to my car - and drove home at MIDNIGHT. How rich is that, huh?
I still have to go over this week to get the rest of the stuff...but it's over. There is no going back for me. He hurt me so deeply, I can never trust him.
I'm sick to my stomach. Thank goodness for my friends...specifically Fuse (big hugs and an apology to Terry for inserting myself in your evening) and JM (long story but we've been in contact and he was there for me tonight when I thought I was going to lose my mind)...I don't know what I'd do without you guys.
I'm going to bed before I start crying....G'nite.
9 comments:
boys suck indeed..
I am so sorry to read this Drama.. so so sorry. xxx
Boys totally suck. I agree.
I'm stunned that he did this to you. Absolutely stunned. . . He is not at all the man I thought I met when I visited if he could do that to you.
I am so very sorry sweetie. You deserve so much better. {{{HUGS}}}
I'm so sorry, Drama. I've been thinking good thoughts for you, hoping that things would work out. I'm sending you hugs.
Thanks everyone. Today wasn't so bad at work...I was quite proud of myself. But then I came home and I felt like I was going to suffocate. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think straight...every single room of my house reminds me of him. The curtains he hung and the shelves he added in my kitchen, the clock he hung in the dining room, the curtain rods in the living and dining rooms, the ceiling fans in mine and Bug's bedrooms, the list goes on and on. He's everywhere I look and it's hurting like hell. If I didn't love my place so much I'd be tossing a lot of things out and starting over. ::deep sigh::
Thank goodness for my friends. When things became overwhelming I started to dial and kept dialing until I got a human voice. My best friend, C, stopped by tonight and kept me company up until a couple of minutes ago. I don't know what I'd do without her.
So sorry the man turned out to be such a jerk. Going through my own man drama myself. May end up much like yours, but it will be him carrying it stuff out while I sit and cry that he's leaving. I know the sick to your stomach feeling and I had the couldn't breath, couldn't think straight feeling at work Monday. I actually sent my boss and email telling him I had a personal emergency and needed to take a half day vacation and didn't even wait for the answer. Ran from the building trying to hold back the tears until I got to the car. I feel your pain my dear! It sucks! Sending you big hugs!
I hope that when love finds you, (when, not if), it sweeps you off your feet, holds your heart as the most precious jewel in the world, and fills that beautiful place inside you.
Chrissy - Thank you for that. I am sorry that you are going through something similar. You described the past two weeks of my life to a *t*. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to drop me an email. I ended up leaving work early one day and calling in the next. I guess I needed a day to lick my wounds so to speak. Each day is getting a little easier...but I have my moments.
Sal - Thank you, thank you, thank you. :::tears::: I do hope that at some time eventually I will find love. I'm not ready or looking for it now but I know I'm a better and more productive human being when I have someone in my life. Doesn't mean I can't be happy alone.
Drama
I know The Man** you can live without - but I hope & pray you are spared the pure mind-fuck of a custody battle (been there, done that)...
**I fart in his general direction ;-)
LOL Thanks Val. Yeah I can do without him, in fact I'm doing pretty well without him. I just need a little more time and I'll be a-ok.
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